Product: a rock
Description: it's a rock
sizes and colors: vary
I’m seeing all over the internet how Nordstrom’s has SOLD OUT of their rocks-in-pouches things. As I am already set up for e-commerce, and I know where there’s a bunch of rocks, I’d be happy to send you one. Those highfalutin rocks from the glamour store would have cost you between 65 and 80 bucks, but mine are only $40 a piece, and they won’t come with one of those stupid leather pouches … I mean… what IS that? My rocks are on the small side and I cannot guarantee that you’ll receive any particular color or type, but I CAN guarantee that they’re real authentic, un-polished, un-painted, un-pouched, just-as-God-made-em rocks. Buy more than one and I’ll knock five bucks off of each.
As no two rocks are the same, the rock you receive will probably not look like this picture. I hope you don't expect too much. It's a rock. But you'll be able to brag to your friends how much you saved over the fancy-pants rocks at the designer store.